emily (voiceofyoureyes) wrote,

frittering away my time

The way I've been running my life these days never ceases to astonish me. For example, I didn't go to the classes today that I am actually enrolled in for a grade (one of which is a class for my major). However, I did go to a) the class I am taking pass-fail and b) the class that I began auditing after spring break just because I should have taken it all along. The professor doesn't even know I exist. I'm also done with my homework for the pass-fail class (due sunday) and not done with the work due tomorrow for the classes that I didn't go to.

These are not large things, but I've decided that it's okay to focus on them because then I don't have to think about: summerparishousingseminarslovelife. And I've been sick in a really weird way for at least a week now, in that I'm exhausted much of the time and my throat hurts. But sometimes it feels fine. And my contacts always seem to stop working sometime around 8 pm (maybe it's my eyes that are no longer capable of staying open). People keep assuring me that I don't have mono, and I'm sure I don't. But wouldn't it be awful if I did?

etc etc.

The best thing that I've done recently was last Sunday, but it's still worth mentioning because I ran away (rather, strolled slowly in the sun) from this campus and spend 4 hours at Borders, reading "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close." I loved it, and if I had bought the book I would quote lines and lines at you. Then I wrote JSF a love letter, but I have yet to send it because I don't know the best way of getting it to him. Through his publisher? I'm afraid to read it over again because it was written when I was still entirely subsumed by the world he had created in my head, and prose just doesn't work like that normally. But it would be really great if I could get it to him. Any ideas?

After that, I ate dinner out and went over to Caitlin's to talk and drink coffee on her porch in the dark. It was a truly lovely day.

EDIT: This doesn't really deserve a new entry, but can I say that Jason and Mark brought me surprisingly delicious coffee from Dunkin' Donuts so I could stay up and do some of the aforementioned work, which I didn't start until after midnight because I was distracted by all sorts of fun people. And that I've been listening to Dylan, and that I've thought of Blonde on Blonde as a sad album ever since someone important to me said it felt like that to him. More accurately, he said that every song on it could be sad, and so I've listened to it with that thought in mind ever since, and found him right every time. But tonight it made me really happy, which is the unsaid part of his analysis: that it's surprising that every song can be heart-wrenching because if you're in a coffee-driven, high-on-Shelley sort of mood (or just listening to the album on a beautiful spring day, which I think I will do more often in my time remaining here), it's so fun and happy, in a mature sort of way, that it's impossible to be depressed while listening to it.

And emails will have to wait until after this weekend, because I'm driving all the way across Pennsylvania for a frisbee tournament. It's about the distance from LA to San Francisco, which is a much more worthy drive in my estimation, and one that I would love to be making sometime soon. Perhaps this summer? Will anyone be home to do it with me?
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